When I got married nearly 14 years ago, I had no doubts that I would be the best wife ever. Although I had never been a huge fan of cooking and cleaning, I didn’t think that it was going to be an issue. In fact, I didn’t think about that aspect of it much at all. I had no idea that I would be an imperfect wife.
A Couple Stories For You…
I did enjoy cooking occasionally. Before my husband and I started dating, I invited him over to eat rosemary chicken. While I wanted to impress him, the chicken had other plans. It took an entire hour longer to cook than I had planned. I remember my soon to be boyfriend comforting me in his quiet, gentle, and patient way. I knew he was a keeper!
On our first Thanksgiving, we invited my in-laws for dinner. We had a small kitchen with barely enough room to turn around. I will always remember moving the freshly risen bread dough, which happened to be in a glass pan, to make more room. Where did I move it to? A hot burner. When my husband alerted me to the fact the burner was hot, I quickly grabbed the bread dough. As I was holding it and screaming, “Where should I put it?” the pan exploded. There were a million shards of glass in our dough. My sweet mother-in-law tried to rescue the situation by saying, “That’s okay. We can still eat it!”
What’s the Problem?
Fast forward just a few years and my husband, who coincidentally liked to cook, did most of the cooking. He was actually quite good at it too. He boasted his clean-up skills were so good that you could never even tell that he had been in the kitchen. I definitely wouldn’t go that far, but I will say he tried.
Then his work schedule changed dramatically. It no longer allowed for him to be the master chef. Guess who took over. I won’t say that my kitchen skills are horrible. I do know how to follow a recipe. Perhaps part of my downfall is that I really like to follow recipes too much. If I’m not looking through a bunch of them, my mind draws a complete blank on what to fix. Not only that, but I am not a menu planner, so it is rare that I do sit down to look at recipes and plan everything out ahead of time.
In addition to this, variety truly is the spice of my life. I don’t like to eat the same things very often. My husband may find a meal he enjoys and “jokingly” suggest we eat it once a week. I, on the other hand, have rarely made the same thing twice. It’s hard to perfect a recipe when you never make it again!
The final issue is perhaps the largest…I don’t like to clean. My parents were always neat freaks. That is part of the reason why I didn’t have much experience cooking. They didn’t want to deal with the mess associated with teaching a child to cook. I was always a good, obedient child and never went through a rebellious stage. I now say that my messiness is the way I have rebelled. It’s not really intentional; it just kind of happens.
To compound matters, we now live in an apartment with the smallest kitchen in human history. Where is a woman to do food prep when you don’t have counter space? On the stove top of course! And we aren’t talking one of the glass top, easy to wipe stoves either. We are talking about an old-school, food gets in every burner kind of stove. To compound the issue, we now have 3 children that I need to teach to cook–and they are messy like their mamma!
So What’s a Woman to Do?
The good news is that quiet, gentle, and patient young boyfriend still retains those qualities. There are so many things that he could find fault with in me, but when I told him that I was writing a post about the Imperfect Wife, this was the only topic he could suggest! I can live with that. Nobody’s perfect. If that’s my biggest flaw in his eyes, I am set! I know that if he didn’t start dating me until after the raw chicken incident, if we are still married 13 years after the exploding bread, he is probably not going anywhere.My husband and God show me grace. One day I will be like the Proverbs 31 woman... Click To Tweet
But because I love my husband, I keep striving to do better. I am incorporating menu planning into my new Happy Planner. My children and I stop a few times during the day and tidy up, including working on the mess in the kitchen. My cooking skills have gotten better with experience. All I can do is keep trying. Because I love my husband, it is even fun to try to please him. I may be an imperfect wife, but I will keep trying to do my best. My husband, like God, continues to show me grace, until one day I may be like the Proverbs 31 woman…
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.” Proverbs 31:14-15 NIV
What would you like to do better for your spouse?
*If you would like to find other inspiring posts, come see where I link-up!