When I got married nearly 14 years ago, I had no doubts that I would be the best wife ever. Although I had never been a huge fan of cooking and cleaning, I didn’t think that it was going to be an issue. In fact, I didn’t think about that aspect of it much at all. I had no idea that I would be an imperfect wife.
A Couple Stories For You…
I did enjoy cooking occasionally. Before my husband and I started dating, I invited him over to eat rosemary chicken. While I wanted to impress him, the chicken had other plans. It took an entire hour longer to cook than I had planned. I remember my soon to be boyfriend comforting me in his quiet, gentle, and patient way. I knew he was a keeper!
On our first Thanksgiving, we invited my in-laws for dinner. We had a small kitchen with barely enough room to turn around. I will always remember moving the freshly risen bread dough, which happened to be in a glass pan, to make more room. Where did I move it to? A hot burner. When my husband alerted me to the fact the burner was hot, I quickly grabbed the bread dough. As I was holding it and screaming, “Where should I put it?” the pan exploded. There were a million shards of glass in our dough. My sweet mother-in-law tried to rescue the situation by saying, “That’s okay. We can still eat it!”
What’s the Problem?
Fast forward just a few years and my husband, who coincidentally liked to cook, did most of the cooking. He was actually quite good at it too. He boasted his clean-up skills were so good that you could never even tell that he had been in the kitchen. I definitely wouldn’t go that far, but I will say he tried.
Then his work schedule changed dramatically. It no longer allowed for him to be the master chef. Guess who took over. I won’t say that my kitchen skills are horrible. I do know how to follow a recipe. Perhaps part of my downfall is that I really like to follow recipes too much. If I’m not looking through a bunch of them, my mind draws a complete blank on what to fix. Not only that, but I am not a menu planner, so it is rare that I do sit down to look at recipes and plan everything out ahead of time.
In addition to this, variety truly is the spice of my life. I don’t like to eat the same things very often. My husband may find a meal he enjoys and “jokingly” suggest we eat it once a week. I, on the other hand, have rarely made the same thing twice. It’s hard to perfect a recipe when you never make it again!
The final issue is perhaps the largest…I don’t like to clean. My parents were always neat freaks. That is part of the reason why I didn’t have much experience cooking. They didn’t want to deal with the mess associated with teaching a child to cook. I was always a good, obedient child and never went through a rebellious stage. I now say that my messiness is the way I have rebelled. It’s not really intentional; it just kind of happens.
To compound matters, we now live in an apartment with the smallest kitchen in human history. Where is a woman to do food prep when you don’t have counter space? On the stove top of course! And we aren’t talking one of the glass top, easy to wipe stoves either. We are talking about an old-school, food gets in every burner kind of stove. To compound the issue, we now have 3 children that I need to teach to cook–and they are messy like their mamma!
So What’s a Woman to Do?
The good news is that quiet, gentle, and patient young boyfriend still retains those qualities. There are so many things that he could find fault with in me, but when I told him that I was writing a post about the Imperfect Wife, this was the only topic he could suggest! I can live with that. Nobody’s perfect. If that’s my biggest flaw in his eyes, I am set! I know that if he didn’t start dating me until after the raw chicken incident, if we are still married 13 years after the exploding bread, he is probably not going anywhere.
My husband and God show me grace. One day I will be like the Proverbs 31 woman... Click To TweetBut because I love my husband, I keep striving to do better. I am incorporating menu planning into my new Happy Planner. My children and I stop a few times during the day and tidy up, including working on the mess in the kitchen. My cooking skills have gotten better with experience. All I can do is keep trying. Because I love my husband, it is even fun to try to please him. I may be an imperfect wife, but I will keep trying to do my best. My husband, like God, continues to show me grace, until one day I may be like the Proverbs 31 woman…
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.” Proverbs 31:14-15 NIV
Someday…
What would you like to do better for your spouse?
*If you would like to find other inspiring posts, come see where I link-up!
We are all imperfect. There is no such thing as the perfect wife, husband or child, that’s my thought, anyway.
Carol Cassara recently posted…Where the boys are
That is true. None of us can be perfect, but I think it’s always strive to be better. I originally wrote this post for a series called “The Imperfect Wife,” otherwise I would have probably worded it differently!
I like how you ended this with a challenge. I am great in the cooking realm, but horrible in the cleaning realm. This is a good reminder to not remain stagnant, but to continually strive to grow in ways you can please your spouse.
I am not a master chef but I think I get by. I definitely try to be the best wife and mother that I can be. I fall short several days a week luckily I shine sometimes too! 🙂
Deanna recently posted…You May Be Homeschooling in Colorado If…
None of us are perfect – all we can do every day is to do our best – and let the chips fall where they may 🙂
andrea recently posted…How Can I Pray For You This Week?
Very true!
I don’t know. I would like to be cleaner but with twins at home and boy in gr.2 I sometimes wonder what’s the point? It’s going to get messier again in 2 minutes!
I’m with you. There’s time for that in a few years!
So thankful for GRACE 🙂 I would love to meal plan, but whew, I don’t know if I have it in me. I wish I would make better meals!
Caroline @ In Due Time recently posted…Their Success Is Not Your Failure
This post spoke to me. I was always insecure about cooking. I too cooked a bit when my husband and I were dating. But when we got married and it came down to cooking, meal planning all on a budget thats when it got intimidating. I learned I had to become bold but in baby steps. I made my first crock pot meal and different soups for the first time. I had never made soup before. I prefer eating more than cooking but like you our schedules dont line up that way. so heres to bold wives and bold cooking!
Mihaela Echols recently posted…Love Letters To God
I’m not really good at cooking but i know i’m not the only one. But at least there are some things i’m good at
Nicole Ecat recently posted…5 Steps to Achieve my Simple Smokey Eye Using Fashion 21 Cosmetics.
So cute and thoughtful…. my husband is the “cook” in our house, too! I do clean – but he helps – I am sure your husband appreciates your efforts and gestures…. it’s so funny because I take out the garbage….. my husband wouldn’t even know what day the garbage comes!!!!!! Ha ha – but he is good about cooking on the weekends!
It is nice to have someone cook for you, isn’t it? I guess most husbands have their own ways of being helpful!
i have a hubby journal where I keep track of things he likes, special memories, future plans and other fun stuff.
That’s a sweet idea!
ALWAYS looking to improve in every area of my life every day!
andrea recently posted…Homemaking Freebie Book Available To Download!
I too want to improve my cooking skills. We are perfectly imperfect!
my ither half loves to cook. It’s not really my thing, but I do split the responsibility.
Nobody is perfect!! I love cooking but I can’t say that I’m perfect in it!! Great thoughtful post!!
Jasmine Watts recently posted…5 Practical Reasons Why You Should Own a Water Softener
I just loved reading through this post.. Sometimes I spend way too much time focused on all of my problems and forget that other people too struggle with some of the same things – I’m not alone! Thank you for sharing!
I also wanted to drop a note and invite you to come join us at Sunday’s Simple Homemaker Link-Up. Would love to have you link-up!! http://www.prairiegalcookin.com/sundays-simple-homemaker-5th-weekly-link-up/
I am so glad you enjoyed the post. Thanks for the invite. I would love to link up with you!
I would like to keep up the house better. But when I think of where I was when my husband first married me until 13 years later, there have been huge improvements. I want to bless my husband but sometimes I feel my efforts fall flat because he is a better cleaner then I am. I think God allows to opposites together to learn and teach grace and patience, and how to put others before yourself, loving them differently then maybe you would be loved. So much to learn and do. I have stories of putting too much of certain spices in food, of undercooking, overcooking, etc, and I think it has all worked out.