I’m not sure where you stand on the issue. What should we do with Santa? To celebrate him or hide him? To visit him and let him bring toys, or to openly provide the gifts ourselves? To be honest, I’m not sure where I stand anymore. We all need to show each other some grace and stop pointing fingers. We need to stop whispering behind each others backs. We are all trying to do the best we can. We try to offer our children the magic, wonder, and faith of childhood. We try to offer them honesty and the ability to trust. Perhaps, this is one of those areas where there truly isn’t a right or wrong answer. Perhaps, it is really all about how we handle the truth.
I grew up with Santa and loved him completely. After a classmate told me some disconcerting news in second grade, I questioned my mother and cried. I don’t ever remember being angry at her though, or thinking she was a liar. I wouldn’t trade my Santa memories for anything.
This summer the topic came up as I sat with my son on the couch. He cried. It broke my heart all over again. Is all of this worth it if it is going to make my child cry even just once?
We all want to spare our children pain. My son was told that Santa wasn’t real a few years ago when he was in preschool. I was so incredibly relieved when Santa was at the store and let my son tug on his beard. Will exclaimed, “I knew it! I knew it! I told them he was real!” I don’t know who was happier, my son or me.
This year, our elf, Criddle, has arrived. My daughter was so excited that she just about burst when she saw him. She literally jumped up and down. Then she began asking questions like, “Why does he look like he is made out of plastic? What are those seams?”
Every time we are around other children over this holiday season, my heart stops a bit. You know, the ones who don’t believe. And you know that there is a great chance that the subject might come up. You also know that if it does, a little bit of your child’s innocence will be lost forever. The blind faith to believe the impossible, at least in this instance, will be gone. We all need a little blind faith and trust don’t we? We need to feel that way about God too. To know that he has our back, even though we can’t see Him.
Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:3 NIV
I somehow made the connection between the blind faith of believing in Santa, and the blind faith in believing in God, even as a second grader. I knew to ask, “But if Santa isn’t real, what about God?” I was a trusting child. When my parents told me that God was real, I still believed them. Perhaps some children wouldn’t be so trusting?
I do remember the wonder though. The magic in believing. Once I even HEARD him putting the presents out in the other room. I was so excited to think that he was right there in my house! I also made a spectacle of it for my kids…Santa ate the cookies and drank the milk. He even left a thank you note. Even as a 30-something adult, walking outside on Christmas eve to sprinkle reindeer food gives me a jolt of electricity and makes me wonder, “Could it perhaps be real?”
So I am left with the struggle, between the wonder and excitement, and the need to make sure that my children know 100% that I will never tell them a lie. ( They may already be questioning if I promise to take them somewhere, but our plans have to change due to something beyond my control.) I want them to have fun, and Santa is fun. I want them to be grounded too, but do they have to do it so young? Are those who don’t do Santa more spiritual than me?
I’m afraid I don’t have an answer. Maybe this post leaves you with more questions than answers. Just know that the struggle is real. No matter what road we choose to go down, there will most likely be mommy guilt. Where there is guilt, there is room for grace, room for God, room for love to come in and change everything. Where there is guilt, there is room for grace, room for God, room for love to come in and change everything. Click To Tweet
But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV
No matter what side you are on Momma, God is on your side. He is the real reason for the season. However you decide to celebrate, just make sure that the main focus is Jesus. Be careful to be truthful to your children when they ask questions. Show them the love and honesty of Christ. And have a Merry Christmas!
What do you do with Santa?
Much wisdom in this post! We chose not to do Santa – for the reason you mention, that we are telling them Jesus is real, but they can’t even see him to check. HOWEVER, everyone has to do what is right with their family, their circumstances and their conscience. We cannot possibly walk in everyone else’s shoes and commentate on all their decisions. We have respectfully made ours and we have been very clear that our children are not to spoil it for others. It hasn’t ruined my kids to tell them he’s not real, and we still have wonderful Christmases.
By the same token, I grew up believing in Santa, my parents weren’t Christians when I was younger, and you know what? It didn’t ruin me and it didn’t stop me from believing in Jesus! I came to him in my twenties.
And your final point nails it – keep fixed on Jesus, He is what matters most!
Helen recently posted…He Came as a Ransom for Many {Advent Devotional}
We don’t do Santa. In our home we focus on the birth of Jesus. ‘
Well, I guess I should phrase it this way. My kids are taught that Santa is not real. I am ok with Santa and we share the story of St. Nicholas, but I do not teach that Santa is real or magical or anything like that. My kids know their presents come from real people and I don’t go out of my way to make Santa magical; the truth of Christmas is beyond magical enough.
Alonda recently posted…The Loveless Church
no Santa here – it’s all about Jesus 😀
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We have 4 children and tell our children Santa is no different than Dora, Elmo, or Barney. I had a post a few years ago called “No Santa For Us” http://www.jcchicks.com/#!No-Santa-For-Us/cysy/BFDF4EA3-F41B-45F3-9B23-E81B686F590B
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Thanks for sharing. I look forward to reading it!
We are struggling with this in our home this year. I’m not really sure where the “santa obsession” came from though, because we don’t overly emphasize it. Still some difficult yet important teaching moments in our near future… we’d appreciate prayers for wisdom and gentle words.
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I am definitely praying for you. My nephew was never taught to believe in Santa, but he did anyway, even though my sister kept trying to set him straight. Part of my struggle comes from the fact that so many get so much from Santa, while other parents can’t afford as much. Santa comes with the idea that no toy is out of the question, when sometimes it is. That is really heart-wrenching on parents who need to be practical.
My children know that Santa isn’t real, but we don’t hide him. We still get our pictures taken and pretend, but it is just like a cartoon character or a dressed up person, like the ones at Disneyland.
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I like that idea. In hind sight, I kind of wish that is what we had done. Perhaps it is what we will do with my youngest after heer sister discovers the truth.
I love santa, always have. I love Jesus – always have and will. We did santa at our house. He brought 1 unwrapped gift for the kids. not the most expensive gift, not the cheapest either. Christmas was centered around the Birth of Christ. Santa was a guy that took time to make a difference…. to spread a little joy, to help where he could. A missionary once told us that (and I cannot remember where he was at, maybe near egypt) Santa could get him in the house where Jesus wasn’t allowed and they could discuss Christmas. And then the real meaning of Christmas would come up – so santa was the way in.
We they asked if santa was real, i always told them St. Nicholas was a real man who did great good in his day.
We did both. I never ever felt bad. to this day when I see an authentic looking santa, I cannot resist the urge to hug him. My son is a youth pastor, my daughter loves the Lord. They both are “givers” and love doing things for others.
anything good can be made bad…
When people give me a hard time about santa, I always ask them if they let their child watch cinderella? they usually leave me alone at that point. 🙂
Great post. I love it.
Marie with spreading-joy.org recently posted…Christmas Joy 2015
Thanks. There is so much that we can question and nit pick. We can do things others don’t approve of and still have great kids!
We do Santa and allow the magic to be part of the how with an elf – my oldest son is now old enough to want to know more of the how, and starting last year we starting learning about St Nicholas and how he served God. We discuss how Santa is another way to love and serve people without needing to do it in the open where we can receive credit, we can fully serve in the name of God. The school kids have started the Santa’s not real, and we talk about it with my oldest two – how maybe the Santa in the movies isn’t real, but that doesn’t mean that the ideas of Santa giving aren’t real. Plus, since we also do an elf (not elf on the shelf, it’s a little different – Elf Magic….) Our Elf has daily advent Bible reading and activities that help keep the whole season focused more directly on Jesus.
Thanks for sharing your heart!
Marissa
Love this! The struggle is real, Santa is fun, and I want my kids to have fun too! I don’t typically leave links in comments , for this is just easier to share what we tell our kids, it’s the short version of the conversation! http://threekidsandafish.com/?p=7152 Hope that you are great Tara! 🙂
Cathy
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For now, our girls believe in Santa. I’m not sure how we’re going to tell them, or if we’ll let them figure out the truth themselves. It is tricky.
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