I want to be part of a church that welcomes kids.
Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14
So if Jesus were preaching at your church today, do you think he would let kids in? Or would He say, “Put them in a side room where they can watch church on TV and won’t make any noise or disturb anyone.”
That’s what happened to us on a recent church hunt. We were on our way into the service when the attendant at the door noticed our baby carrier, stopped us and said, “Oh, you have a child with you? Here.” Then she proceeded to open a side door and motioned for us to go into the room. “You can watch the whole service from here on TV.”
My husband quickly responded with, “We can’t go in the main room?”
“Well, we are taping the service and trying to cut back on background noise.”
My husband works with expensive recording equipment on a daily basis and knows that the background noise would be minimal with the kind of equipment this place was using. He took one look around the room and said to me, “I could watch church on TV at home. I’m not sitting here for a whole hour and watching TV. Let’s go get lunch.”
It was obvious from our disdain, especially my husband’s, that we weren’t pleased that the church would not let kids in. We really wanted to be part of the main service. Had our baby been crying or making any noise at all, that might have been another thing. But we were new to the church, new to the area, and didn’t want to leave our not even 8 month old baby with complete strangers during flu season. And when the attendant heard us and saw us starting to leave, she said nothing…not even sorry.
I understand the distraction babies cause. They are cute, cuddly, and like to coo. People make silly faces at them when babies are at their best. When the babies are crying and at their worst, they are even more distracting. But life is just one big distraction anyway, isn’t it? It’s up to us to focus on Jesus. Babies are little people too. So if we want them to go hang around The Word and other believers, shouldn’t that be allowed? Shouldn’t we let kids in?
As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.Isaiah 55:10-11
If a church doesn’t want our baby when she is quiet and cute, they don’t want us.
Do you have any immediate red flags when you are looking for a new church for your kids?
I’m so sorry that happened to you. I’m always appalled by stories like this! My church recently had a conference with people from other churches attending. I could tell some were getting bothered by my son’s presence in the service. One person actually told her friend she missed the speaker’s joke because of the “distraction”, while pointing to my son… who wasn’t even making any noise. He was just smiling and looking around. Another lady, sighed heavily and shot me a dirty look when I went to the back to stand because my son was getting restless. This kind of thing NEVER happens at my church but I felt incredibly uncomfortable, so, I got up to leave. The head usher stopped me and asked why I was leaving. I told him I thought people were getting bothered by the baby. He stood in front of the door and said, “well, then let them leave”. I am very grateful for my church and they way they welcome children. Unfortunately, this seems to be the exception and not the rule. If you haven’t found such a church, yet, I pray that you do!
Inez recently posted…Places to Donate Your Kids’ Toys & Clothes
I’m sorry that happened to you too. I wish we knew about what church was like in the Bible. I doubt that the kids had separate everything!
Wow Tara I can’t believe this happened to you and your family. It’s sad that children are so undervalued these days in our culture. It’s even more upsetting that this kind of thing has overflowed to the church. The whole issue of “modesty” and breastfeeding seems to be a big deal too. I won’t chase that rabbit trail though. And yet here in this situation the your baby was quiet and not bothering anyone. I can totally relate not wanting to leave your child alone with strangers during the flu season.
I’m glad you left the church and so sorry the greeter didn’t even attempt to apologize. I would have been furious and asked to speak to someone before leaving. Churches like that really need the feedback since I think so many visitors both Believers and non-Believer fall through the cracks with situations like this.
Sometimes I think people forget that church services aren’t just for the members. People also forget the basic summary of the law by Jesus which was to love God and to love people.
I totally agree a church that doesn’t value my kids doesn’t value me. I hope and pray you find a church that values children.
Jonathan Key recently posted…Understanding Insurance – Part Three
Thanks for your feedback Jonathan! We did end up finding a church that welcomed all of us. My husband did call and talk to someone at the church. I’m not sure our feedback was received well, but it is important for people to share their thoughts and experiences!
Wow! I can’t believe that happened to you guys. I COMPLETELY agree with your decision to leave. I think having kids in the service is awesome and important for any healthy church body. It’s never really a problem at our church as parents just take their child out if there’s an issue. There is an optional baby viewing room with glass into the main service but that’s just for convenience if parents are looking for that.
A red flag for me is if the church seems like too much of a production – if people don’t seem real or authentic. 🙂
Wow!!! That’s crazy. It’s sad when events like that happen. It does not represent Christ. Like you pointed out, Christ welcomed children, not put them in another room to keep them quiet. A church body will never be healthy and survive, without it’s youngest members.
This was probably a one day event, but how lovely it would have been to hear children participating along with the adults.
Kristi recently posted…Are You Willing to Admit You Might Be Wrong?